Reverie and then a sudden change of light.

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It’s quite an unusual feeling when your sitting blissfully in a state of reverie and suddenly something just changes.

Reverie is transient and so bittersweet.

I keep noticing far to much lately the irksome moments that pull me from my state of reverie. I will be sitting in class, just mindlessly learning and then a change of light happens.

The mood will change. The room will feel darker and less idyllic. Just because of a sudden change in light.

Just because the blinds have moved slightly because of the wind, or a clouds covered the sun.

Nobody says anything or acts differently.

The light has just change and the calming moods just gone.

Everything feels wrong and disorderly.

The light from outside will cast shadows on someones face or a surface differently. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I felt so relaxed previously.

I’m deceived into thinking its a change in person or moment. It isn’t …it’s just how the light has changed.

I am left wondering and anticipating if the moment will change. Does anyone else notice the change of mood. Will it effect others as much as it is effecting me?

Will anything happen differently than it would of happened seconds before the light changed?

 

Has anyone ever felt anything like this?

It’s weird to think something as small as a change in light can effect my brain so much. 😀  ❤

I honestly have no idea what this is. A thought?  A rambling feeling?  A story?

I don’t know but I wrote something because what else have I to do right now.

 

 

 

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I’m not trying to make blogging difficult…or am I?

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I have yet again abandoned the blogging world. Oops!

I have so many excuses. You do want to hear them don’t you?. Of course you don’t but I’m going to say them anyways. 🙂

My biggest excuse I have for not writing or blogging at all is time. I seem to never have any time when I am actual motivated to write about something. It’s as if the world is trying to give me a hint …well more than a hint, more a massive push to tell me to not bother writing. I am always either to busy to write because I’m to busy freaking out about school and all the other typical teenager problems like what on earth will I do now that my concealers run out! I can’t possibly do anything with my terrible skin. So I then waste even more time complaining about tiny non-important problems and feeling sorry for myself. (Yes I am quite the extraordinary drama queen.)

My laptop also seems to hate me. It’s  as if from the day I bought it. The laptop itself has decided to have its own vendetta against me because it must of heard story’s about my past laptops and their tragic ends. (I dropped one down the stairs…oops!) . My nickname is clumsy Kate for a reason. My laptop just never wants to turn on or function like it should. It is constantly in battle against me and freezes, shuts down, over heats (even though it’s been on five minutes) every time I need to use it for blogging or mainly school work. I know I can blog from app or tablet etc.but it just isn’t the same. I love blogging on a laptop. I seem to write more and get less frustrated using a laptop. MY LAPTOP JUST SHUT DOWN….right now, as I’m writing this. I guess It truly does hold a grudge against me.

I also have decided to not blog because I feel extremely guilty 😦 that I haven’t had the time or effort to read other peoples blogs. I adore so many bloggers on here and their posts but I just have lost the feeling that made me read blogs. It’s like writers block but backward. I have readers block?. I still love when I do read blogs. I still laugh and cry and get spun out in a deep web of thought when I read blogs but it has become so rare because of myself. I want to blog more when I read more. After all, the main reason I wanted to blog is to get to know other people who love to write too. So I think once my motivation to read blogs comes back I will possibly write more too. I am sorry I have abandoned the blogs I used to comment and read daily!.

As I have just said I have readers block…..I also have writers block. I just have no inspiration or motivation to write anything. I don’t even diary anymore. I can’t be bothered to explain in detail and when I do it is nowhere near creative and I hate reading it myself. I just lost my longing to want to blog. Well….It is still their but I just don’t enjoy anything I write anymore. Even looking back at old posts and stuff I have written  it just makes cringe. I get angry at myself far to easily because I do know I’m not a amazing write. I don’t write well. I don’t write aesthetically. I don’t compel a reader to keep reading…but I still want to write. I just want to write better but I just don’t have that natural nack for it.

But hey! The biggest thing I notice about all my excuses is they are my own fault. It’s like I try to make life difficult for myself then complain about it. I do it so naturally it’s weird. I am aware I do it but I know their is other influences that are effecting the problems so I still blame it on those…. but I blame it on me too :’)

To fix my problems above I can what?….Manage my time better and write even when unmotivated. Write on the app? Skip my T.V time and read blogs? Write more until I get better at writing?…….I know I can do these things but I don’t. So does this mean I don’t want to or do I just want to self sabotage?.

I really am I hypocritical, conflicted contradiction.

Is anyone else like this?

Comment below if you do see this so I know some people are still out their…and maybe I might actually stop being a silly bean and start reading more peoples blogs. 😀

Also can anyone recommend good blogs? Teen bloggers? Story time blogs? 😀

 

 

 

Obviously I broke my resolutions!

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Right, well I have pretty much abandoned the blogging world the past couple months. I never even opened the app to read other peoples blogs. Life has just been hectic. Schools back so back to the joys of never ending anxiety and mountains of stress. Yippee! -.- ( Side note… the header photo is completely irrelevant to this post, like  most posts from me. I guess it is linked in with my summer because daisy’s? :’) )

Summer was good. Did some cool things. I went to #SitC16 in London which was frigging fantastic. I’m going to make a post about that separately. I now may  have a great love for London, even though I only got to see very little of the city. I still love it and I seriously hope to go back!.

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( Photo I took…. London I love you lots ❤ )

Well …this is actually pretty stressful. Blogging again feels so unnatural to me. I don’t even know anyone anymore from here. So if you do read this I’d love if you commented and said Hi so I know someone sees this and that I’m not a complete loner in the blogging world. 🙂 I hope to catch up and read some blogs again soon, between the piles of homework and procrastinating.

I guess I’ll do a update  on my new years resolutions. Which I made a post about before. Here are my resolutions for 2016 and and update on how I have been doing with them.

  • Keep blogging and Journalling.(Blogging….fail …sadly 😦 Journalling  I did well until September, this month was hectic as heck!.) Trying to get back to them though)
  • Get healthier (Eat healthier and attempt exercise) ( HAHAHAH fail. I have gained and lost so much since January, but fluctuating isn’t so bad I guess)
  • Don’t let my anxiety get the better of me. Don’t let it stop me from going places. ( Success! I had very little anxiety all Summer and I am dealing so well in school, super happy with this)
  • Go more out of my comfort zone. (Heck yeah! London , SITC, Talking to new people, worked in charity shop)
  • Read 30 books. (Maybe write them down as I go? Maybe do book reviews?) (SUPER SUCCESS! 32 books read already and the years not even over!. Book reviews are still a maybe.)
  • Have fun and stay Hopeful. (Still my life motto and sticking to it well.)

How have you been doing with your resolutions? What did you decided you wanted to change?. 😀 I hope this is the start of me going back to blogging again. I miss it. No promises or commitments for now because I want to try focus on school more this year.

So yeah…I’m back….um Hi….and bye for now! 😀

 

Dear Trust.

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Dear Trust…

Your both a wonderful and deadly thing.
You take so much time to build up.
Yet you take so little time to break down.

You can disapear in the blink of an eye but you leave behind a open wound.
You frighten and excite me both at the same time.

You make friendships and yet you break them too.
You break walls and open hearts.

Your dangerous.
If your opened up go the wrong person you can break a heart and ruin a memory.

You build a rising fear inside my chest, leaving me in constant wonder who deserves to get you.

Sometimes I wish you would hurry up and open up, simply whenever I wish.
Other times I am glad you stayed strong and contained.
You have saved me from a lot of pain.

You keep me strong and let me fall.
Both good and bad.

Always keeping me on my toes.
Building barriers high.
I wonder who I can really let have you.
Your mean a lot to me, but I hate the way you can easily hurt me.

Procrastination and Distraction.

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Wow…it really has been awhile since I’ve been on here. I miss blogging and reading blogs. Lately I’ve been busy and distracted a lot and I also have been procrastinating getting back into blogging.

Why, I really don’t know. I love blogging. I love reading others blogs. I Love all you other bloggers on here. I’m just a lazy, procrastinating, distracted poop to say the least. :”)

Also my fan on the laptops gone so it only stays on for a couple of minutes before it turns into either a mini velociraptor or a helicopter and proceeds to overheat.  It’s another reason I have been away from blogging. Blogging from the apps way more difficult for me I became so used to the computer.

ANYWHO how is everyone. I am sorry for not being on and being able to read your posts. I hope to read them more often again , now that its summer ❤

So yeah tell me how you guys are, what you's have been up to. Is it summer for you guys? 🙂

Also hope you guys out their doing exams are doing okay and are staying calm and chilled as much as you can. GOOD LUCK, YOUS CAN DO IT! 🙂

Barcelona Adventures #4 :)

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We woke up as usual at 6am same routine as the other days but we were slightly less happy because we were sad it was our last day in Barcelona. We all loved the trip so far and didn’t want it to end.

We first of all got the bus to Sant Sebastia beach. It was lovely there we had hours of free time to walk around and look at the church, sit on the sand and listen to the band playing wonderfully music. The general atmosphere at the beach was really chill and lovely. I was in quite a good mood but I didn’t want to go home.

We got ice cream in a ice cream shop while we walked around the little alleys and took photos and shopped. The ice cream I got was pretty good, wish I took a photo it was super vibrant blue and pink swirls. It looked better than it tasted though sadly 🙂

We then went and looked over at the sea from the top of steps of the church (I made my friends walk for ages, when they wanted to just rest. Sorry girls aha, couldn’t waste the last day). Then we  walked to the end of the pier where models were doing photo shoots and we walked along the stones to the furthest out point of land we could see. I of course got my friend to take some cringe worthy photos of myself looking out at the sea. 

We walked up and down for hours on the beach and wrote our names in the sand and drew pictures and then watched the sea wash it all away. (I just love watching the tide come in and out, its so mesmerising.)  We then went back close to the meetup point and watched a orchestra perform and watched the people dance in partners below. It was such a great atmosphere everyone was happy and dancing and tapping away to the music. I could of stood there for hours and I really wanted to dance oddly enough, because I’m not much of the dancer type but I had a strange urge to dance .

We then and waited at the meetup spot for everyone to come back. So many people bought shoes there and sunglasses from the people selling them on towels on the ground. Some of the girls also got braids in their hair. We then got the bus to Las Ramblas. We were let off and we got lunch in burger king (Of course we start with Mcdonalds and finish with burger king).

We then walked up and down the streets trying to avoid the side allyes so we didn’t get too lost. We stopped at each stall along the way and got our final bits of shopping done. Me and my friend walked all the way down to the bottom right down to the sea/pier. We seen some people getting boat tours and seen some people dressed up as statues it was fascinating how they could stand so still. I wouldn’t be able for it. (So glad I hadn’t seen the doctor who episode with the weeping angels before I seen them statue people otherwise of would of been terrified)

We looked around and took photos and laughed and chatted so much along the way. Then we went all the way back up the street and went down another road. We sat at a fountain for a while and got a rest in the sun. Then went and set off down another road of markets which were different. I got a pen and bookmark finally from one of them.  Me and my friend walked our feet off and they were aching by the time we got back on the bus but we had so much fun singing our lungs of and looking around.

We then got the bus to the airport and we checked our bags under the plane for free this time. We also said our final goodbye to Daniel. We  then had plenty of time to look around the airport and get food. We got some sweets for the plane and sat on the floor of the airport after looking in each shop. We waited on the floor near our gate and messed around, their was another school their going to liverpool so their was some banter (Ugh regret using the word banter but feck it.) thrown back and forth between schools. We chatted and then boarded the plane I got to sit with the girls again and on the way home we slept most of the way. I kept hitting my head so I didn’t have the greatest sleep but still got some. We then got home around 1am in Ireland and we our bags and got the bus home to the school. Our parents came to collect us we said our thanks and goodbyes to the teachers. We all went home sleepy and tired. Yet I managed to still stay up till 5am catching up on youtube videos. (Commitment to being a fangirl) It was an amazing and fun experience and I would love to go again anytime I can.

Last updatery post about Barcelona. I had such an amazing time.

If anyone reading this ever gets the chance to go to Barcelona I would definitely recommend. 😀

Thanks for reading xD

 

Barcelona Adventures #3 :)

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Cringe worthy photo of me ..I know but hey I couldn’t resist! 🙂

We woke up again bright and early at 6am and got to see the sunrise. This time we needed all three of us in the room to set an alarm….the tiredness was kicking in. We all got up and got ready for the day ahead. The day we were all most excited for.

I sang songs in the room to wake up the girls a bit more (also to annoy them but pshh, my singing is the best….kidding..I can’t hold a note.) 🙂 . I’m sure they loved my impromptu made up Spanish verses in high school musical songs (My best ‘Spanish’ line being Ola poopoolala) We laughed a lot at my great songs and my made up lyrics then We ate breakfast. But nowhere near as much breakfast was eaten compared to the other days because none of us wanted to see it return after going on a roller-coaster.

We met our new tour guide Daniel. Daniel was just as lovely as Juan and he had the most contagious and unique laugh. We all waited in the lobby area until everyone was ready and then set off in the bus to Portaventura.

We could see the biggest roller coasters from at least a 10 minute away drive!! 😀

We got there and everyone got their tickets and we were all nervous and excited at the same time. We spent the entire day there until 5 and we had a lot of time and we got to go on a lot of roller coasters and rides.

We all just split up into sub groups around the park. I stayed with 3 friends and we had so much fun. We first went off and of course got on the biggest roller-coaster first…The shambala. Smart megan the first roller coaster you’ve ever been on is the biggest one in Europe.

We didn’t even have to line up long and we were on it on no time…partially regretting the choice. We climbed up the rails slowly, hearing the creaks of the bars and the wind blowing gently in our faces. ( I was still surprisingly calm and their was very little wind) The view was amazing you could see miles around all at the same time being sort of scared for the drop ahead . Then suddenly the drop happens and we scream with glee all the way down. It was actually so fun, not bad at all. It didn’t make us feel sick at all, our stomachs didn’t even lift. The rest of the ride was fun my favourite part was the twist at the end. We got off and we were full of pride and smiles.(We did it! I conquered my first ever roller-coaster! 🙂 )

We went back to our other friends and walked around the parks and got on more rides. We next got on the teacups which was by far my favourite ride. My friend made them spin so fast it made us dizzy and ill slightly…who would’ve thought the teacups would be my Favourite ride of all of them. (Not even kidding, It was the best one we went on and made me feel the most sickly :’) We laughed so much on them.

We then went around to each different park from china all the way to mexico and to the wild west. Getting on so many different rides. The El Diablo, Stampida, Carousel, Water rafts and lots more. They were all so much fun and none made us sick. Even after we stopped for cotton candy, icecream, hotdogs and chicken popcorn , We still went on the rides and were fine. We got to experience so much of the parks and had a lot of laughs and breaks along the way. The El diablo was a ride I simply had to go on. I say Diablo way to much just to annoy people and I needed to go on the ride…I loved that ride. It was my favourite roller-coaster of all.

We then looked in gift shops and relaxed in the sun at the meetup point and waited for the others. Daniel was the first back after us so he just sat and talked to us about the roller coasters and stuff he went on and we went on. The biggest roller-coaster got stuck up top for five minutes with people on it! Thank goodness none of us were on it at the time. The park was really beautiful and I got to take some photos, some wont be on my blog but might go onto my instagram 😉

Then eventually everyone else came back and we eventually got the bus to a shopping centre where we were going for bowling and dinner. We got time to shop around for a bit while we waited for the buffet to open. (Make-up shops again with the girls )Then we went in for food. It was the best meal I have ever had…in my entire life…no exaggeration!. There was so much food on offer like almost anything you can think of eg: rice,pasta,pizza,chips,lasagne,chicken nuggets,fillets,sushi,wings and loads more. It was delicious. I was in my element …food heaven. We all sat down and ate.

Daniel sat at the same table as us and talked to us. We taught him some new Irish slang and he spoke in Spanish for us. He was super nice and easy to talk to. Everyone of us loved him and got along with him. He also has a blog called caviarcitric (check it and use English translations!) . We then got dessert. Well most of us…Daniel didn’t he got pizza instead which was also yum. The ice cream was so good we made it ourselves and then choose so many toppings. (I was happy out with all the toppings) We all left with exploding stomachs. 

We then went downstairs to a arcade/bowling alley. We got to bowl for a while. I failed miserably at bowling but it was fun. I managed to get one strike but in the process almost dropped a bowling ball on my foot..thankfully I just stubbed it off the bowling ball rack thing. Daniel was my friends good luck charm, he made her get such good bowls when he was watching but when he wasn’t she didn’t do as well. We laughed alot about that. There was also a worker their and his name was nacho I think?…like what a cool name!!!. Our shoes and clothes..anything that was white glowed it was so cool. We then all got the bus home , sleepy and happy. We then showered,chatted etc then slept…What a great day!:)

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Portaventura is so cool! I am definitely going to go back one day. 😀

Have you ever gone? Do you like roller-coasters? 😀 ❤

Heres some other photos from around the parks and I one from the hotel.