2015 Reflection :)

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Well Today hasn’t exactly started of the best. I still feel slightly ill, because I’m just over a bug. There was a couple of other things That made me feel a bit down this morning but I have copped on and decided to push it aside because it’s the last day of 2015 and I want to try make it end well. So on a happier note …here goes a reflection.

This years been quite the year. I have done so much. I have had so many good memories. I have also had quite a few bad memories and sad moments. They made me stronger and I am extremely grateful to have experienced both. 2015 has been one of the best years of life despite the rocky patches. I have had so much fun and have experienced so many new things.

I went to Rome, Italy with my Mum, my friend and friend mum (Kinda like my second Mum to be honest.)….. I also don’t say mum it’s just that WordPress is being a pain and won’t let me say Mam. I had the most amazing time there. I fell in love with the city instantly. I dealt well with my anxiety for the majority of the trip. I got to visit the Colosseum, The Roman Forum, The Vatican City, The Piazza De Popolo and so many other wonder places in Rome. We walked for hours and hours each day, getting to see so many amazing places and we got to eat such lovely Italian foods (My dream , like come on!, Pizza and Pastas galore.)  All with the best company. We stayed in a small little hotel room together, which was quite fun (Despite somebody’s extreme snoring, which led her to be beaten with pillows in her sleep .) We had a fantastic weekend away and It was the best Christmas present I had ever received ( Thanks Mam!). 😀

I also got to go on a school trip to Berlin. The capital of Germany. Yet again I fell in love with city. I became quite attached to everything about it. The people. The buildings. The history. The sights. Everything really. It was a amazing trip. I got to spend time with some of my good friends. I got to see so many cool,historical things like The Berlin Wall, Brandenburg Gate, Berlin Bunkers, Concentration camps, Holocaust Memorial and so much more. I learned a lot about the history of Berlin. I also got to do so much fun stuff like going to Berlin zoo, Going shopping in Kaufhaus Dewestens (Where I bought nothing, that place is so damn expensive.) Going bowling and just spending time back in the hostel running between rooms and laughing with friends. It was a truly great experience and I am glad to have gone. Thanks to my Mum again and of course my school teachers for organizing the trip and taking us. 🙂

I also had so much fun,happy memories at home with my family and friends. I got to have a amazing boxing day with all my aunts,uncles,cousins etc from one side of the family. I went out for the day with my best friend and family to Emo court on a really warm day during the summer. I got to go shopping several times with my friends in Newbridge and Portlaois. I went to the cinema a couple of times. I went to friends birthday parties and had a amazing time. My friends even threw me a surprise birthday party which was lovely 🙂

I got to stay at home and annoy my brothers and parents a lot (I’m a great daughter and sister. 😛 ) I got to laze around a lot and binge watch TV shows and Youtube for hours. I even got to go to yet another Bribry,Candice and Dodie Clark gig in the Academy.

I started Transition Year in school. Which was a pretty big change to normal school curriculum. I am now doing subjects I haven’t  done before and I am talking to new people which is great!:) This year in TY I have done so many cool things like go to the Ploughing,Gone to Roll and Bowl,Gone to Killary Adventure Centre and so much more. Which all have been amazing. We also had so many talks and guest speakers in for TY and I have loved all of them surprisingly. They have been interesting and educational and I really enjoy them. I know at the start I was thinking I would hate TY (Being away from some friends, doing new things,coping with anxiety etc) But I actually never want it to end. I really love it.

During 2015 I also started this blog! Which is pretty damn cool. I love blogging now and I love everyone on this site. You are all so lovely and supportive. I love reading others blog posts and I love talking to other bloggers. I was not expecting to love blogging this much and I was definitely not expecting everyone to be so lovely on here. This so far has been a fun journey and I am grateful to have met so many nice people. I hope you all have a amazing 2016! I wish you all the best because you all really deserve it. (No need for names because This is to every single one of you!)

There has been so many other wonderful experiences this year. I just can’t write them all because that would be way to long of a blog post!. I have Journalled throughout all this year (I actually did it …for a entire year, surprisingly. I went through so many Diaries and pens :’) but Yay.)

I am truly thankful for all that this year has brought , good and bad. I am glad of the lessons I have learnt and the mistakes I have made (There was a lot and I’m sure there’s many left to come). I am thankful for the people who came and went. Also to the ones who stuck it out with me.

2015 has really been a mental year.

I attempted to keep it shortish :’) Sorrrry 😛

 

 

 

 

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The Spirit Animal Blog Award!

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Sending out  a big thank you to simplyme , Isabella and theambivert for nominating for this!:) (check out their blogs their great!)

So…..the rules are.
1. Post the award picture on your blog
2. Write a short paragraph about yourself and what your blog means to you
3. If you could be any animal, what would you be?
4. Pick ten nominees.

Okay easy enough ? Here goes.

  1. It’s already at the top of this blog post 😛
  2. Hmmmm….what to say. Well  the major summary of me is in my About me page on this blog, but for now I’m going to do a even smaller summary of me.
  • I’m 15.
  • I’m Irish.
  • I love TV shows a lot, I watch sooo many (Sherlock,TVD,TWD,PLL.GOT etc.)
  • I am addicted to youtubers (Funforlouis,Tyler Oakley,Doddleoddle,Bribry and 100s more)
  • I dream to travel the world ..but I have anxiety so uhh ?
  • What my blog means to me. Well it means quite a lot. I love blogging and It makes me happy. I like being able to share stuff I write with such lovely people who read my blog. I like being productive and having the chance to be creative in my own way. I like how it can distract me from stuff. I like how lovely everyone has been since I began blogging. It means so much and I really appreciate all the support.

3. If I could be any animal I would be…ugh…this is a hard decision. Possibly a dire wolf because Ghost from game of thrones is just my favourite and they are strong and caring creatures at the same time.

4. You have all probably been nominated already but awell.

Woo hoo ! Finished:’) Them dang links take ages.

 

Life Is A Lovely Mess.

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The metaphor ‘Life is like a roller-coaster’ , as cliché as it is. It’s pretty damn accurate.

Everyone has their ups and downs in life. Life is a unbalanced scale. Everyone wants to find a perfect balance in their life between the good and bad moments. I personally don’t think its possible to have a constant perfect balance. Sure you can have it for some time , but nothing lasts forever. Happiness won’t last forever but neither will sadness or any other emotion for that matter.

Everyone strives to find their self and become better in life. Everyone want’s to feel content. We all want the feeling of pure peace,Zen and complete happiness.

In life we all grow and change. We find ourselves as we age and mature. We never remain the same, we are in a never-ending cycle of change. What we love,hate,dream etc. will all change as time passes. Their is always room and time for change.

Life can be absolutely hectic and chaotic. It can push us to our limits. It can knock us down. It can leave us feeling helpless and alone and feeling like utter crap…..

Then again life can Spectacular!. It can make you feel like your floating on happiness. It can make you glow with excitement and wonder. It can make you feel thrilled and fulfilled.

Nobody has it perfect all the time. Everyone has down moments in life. Especially when we least expect them and don’t want them. We feel like were stuck in a pit of misery.

Then again everyone has the chance to be happy and feel good. It just takes a change of balance to do that and you never now what change is going to happen.

Everyone has the capability to enjoy life and live.

It’s just a matter of time . You never know when life is going to take a turn for the better.

We all just have to sit it and out and see what life deals us. Sure we might get a crappy hand of cards but Heck! we could get a full house on the next deal 🙂

I am thankful for my many struggles in life and the many yet to come. Without the struggles and bad moments I wouldn’t of discovered my hope and my strength.

Hope is what keeps everyone going. Hope is one of the most important things in life, it’s the one thing that keeps us going. It gives us the chance to experience everything we can that life throws at us.

So that’s that, a  random ramble of my thoughts ..pretty much I think Life’s  lovely mess.

I could write a lot more about this topic but this is just my current stream of thought. It probably will change and I might share another  post similar to this in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

Weirdly nostalgic.

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So I’m currently sat at my Grandads computer typing this blog post. It feels so strange. I haven’t used this computer in years!. To be honest I don’t even think my grandad has either. It’s all dusty and the mouse is stiff.

I feel weirdly nostalgic. I rember sitting on this computer when I was much younger. I would play silly little games like Club Penguin and Yoville (using my mothers facebook account of course because I wasn’t aloud my own.) I was so happy. It’s weird to think how much I have grown and how much has changed.

I was probally around 6 or 7. We would visit Dublin a lot more back then. I would always use this old desktop pc and sit in the corner of my Nanny and Grandads room. Like I currently am now. I would sit just like now. Squished,crossed legged into this old black leather swirly chair,with rips in the arm. Typing away and just being happy and slightly irritated by how uncomfortable this chair is and was. (It’s soft and all but I will never be used to sitting at a desk!)

I would spend hours on the computer getting off it every now and then (sometimes willingly,sometimes not…Hey, Club Penguin was important to me!) so my uncle and grandad could use it. Then as I grew older along with my eldest,younger brother I would have to give time to him on it also.

I was of course his influence to join the great weird world of the internet 🙂 (even though I doubt he will admit it).

Also Internet explorer being my browser of choice back then. I am currently using it now,again for the first time in years. I have become so used to Google Chrome and Mozzila Firefox. This is such a odd feeling using it again. Not sure if it’s this dinosouar computer ,crap broswer or just the fact that this computer hasn’t had some love in awhile but It’s slow as heck!. (I am so impatient,I think this post has taken over 30 mintues to type and It’s not even done!.)

I don’t remeber it being this slow and annoying back then. Well I guess I didn’t know much better.

To think this old dusty thing  was what started my eternal love for the Internet. My neverending addiction to silly virtual worlds and online games. To social media and to my beloved youtube. This was the start of a huge part of my life and that’s pretty damn weird to think about.

If I had never been introduced to this computer by my grandad and uncle, what would I be like now?. Would I even be blogging?. Would I even use the internet?. These are pretty scary questions for me to think about because the internet is a huge part of my daily life.

Thanks to this computer my addiction to electronics has evolved. Because of this computer I have gone through many  a console. From nintendos,phones and playstations to even my own labtop!. Oh wow …this really feels weird writing this and thinking about this.

Uh oh!. Gotta go home now D:.

Bye computer. Think I might have a bit of editing to do on this post later.

Also the photo is of me,my nan and grandad when I was little :’)

 

Coping methods.

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Not really sure how to go about this post. It’s hard putting some things into words.

So Hi there!, as you probably know or don’t my names Megan. I have anxiety. I have always had it to an extent but I never recognised it for what it is until I was around 12 ( I’m 15 now).

Anxiety effects so many people, in so many different ways. Anxiety can effect anyone at any age. It’s hard to put into words what Anxiety is because it has so many different affects and happens for so many different reasons.

I want to make a post about the topic and my experience with it and how it effects my life. But not today, that’s for another post.

I know so many people have anxiety. I know how horrible it can be and how crap it makes you feel physically and mentally. I know how it can drain you emotionally and can stop you from doing so many things.  I know it leads to horrible panic attacks amongst many other things.

For now I just want to share some of the coping methods I learned that help me stop panic attacks and to calm my anxiety (They DON’T always work but their worth a try as they have helped me).

  1. If you feel a panic attack coming on or your starting to feel anxious in your head count to 20 and think ”Okay this panic attack has 20 seconds to come over me and if it doesn’t happen in that time it isn’t going to happen”. (I have been using this a lot recently thanks to watching Bressies a lust for life video.)
  2. Keep your feet and palms flat out. Keep palms resting flat on your lap and keep feet flat on the floor. This helps you feel stable and balanced.
  3. Listen to music with headphones in. Any type you like that relaxes you. Just put it up as loud as you want and drown everything around you.
  4. Play with something and distract yourself. Twist your ring,mess with your hair or necklace. 
  5. Step outside and away from the situation. Fresh air does a lot of good.
  6. Talk to someone and tell them how you feel. They might even be nice and help distract you and get out of the situation.
  7. Sing your favourite song in your head or count. Just keep your mind occupied and distracted.
  8. Daydream. Drift of to dreamland and think of happy daydreams and think back on happy moments in your life. Think back to times you overcame your anxiety before.
  9. If you need to deal with physical pain and sickness. Talk to your doctor and they might recommend some painkillers to help (only resort to this if desperately needed and if your doctor thinks its a good idea.)
  10. Write down what your feeling on a memo on your phone or in a notebook. Or write a story or make up a poem,song  or anything on the spot.
  11. Just breath. Slowly in and out. Focus on your breathing only and watch your chest rise and fall.
  12. Look through photos on your phone. Remember happy moments you have had through the pictures. (The photo attached to this post is one I took in Rome and it makes me very happy to think back to that holiday, because on the holiday I had a great time and I managed to deal with my anxiety quite a bit.)

That’s some tips for dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. They have all worked for me in the past. They may not work all the time but they are always worth a shot.

Always remember you are not alone and its okay to ask for help. Speak to someone whether it be a parent,friend or someone on-line.

I hope this helped someone.

Have you any tips on how to stop anxiety and prevent panic attacks?

Thanks for taking the time to read this:) x

 

Musical Moments ♡

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Okay, so I do this odd thing and I was wondering if anyone else does it too :”)  ..well I do a lot of unusual things but this just springs to mind right now.

Am I the only one who thinks of random songs in their head at random moments  in time. Like it could the most boring or exciting moment and suddenly its like a musical moment. In your head you imagine a backing track or something like that, that makes the moment musical?😂

It’s sort of like turning life into a movie montage in a unusual way. Like you imagine a moment in time the same as it is, just with a bit of music playing in your mind.

Yeah, wow I think I may be crazy. I am probally the only human that does this.

Also when someone says something that reminds you of a song. Like they could accidentally say something and it might sound slightly like a lyric from a song and it makes the song stuck in your head. (Like someone deciding they want to have a lazy day makes me instantly think of bruno mars lazy song).

Or even just things and stuff you see makes you think of a song. Like the sound of the rain ( I think of doddleoddles song rain) or the sound of diggers and machinery ( I think of bob the builder theme song). Just random little weird things like that.

Oh and another musical moment trigger for me is looking at a photo. For exsample the photo atatched to this post is a photo I took when I went on a school trip to Killary. It’s during the 20k hike we did as part of our Gaisce challenge. Looking back at it now I can’t help but think of the proclaimers song 500 miles 😂.

I’m not sure but in the moment I was possibly thinking of the rocky theme song because I was trying to make myself keep going and not give up ….or my mind was just blank from exhaustion.

Yeah so that’s that.
A weird as heck insight to the many happenings in my mind.
What’s your fav songs? Have you any moments like this☺😂

Horoscopes accuracy.

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Horoscopes and how accurate they are have always intrigued me. A lot of people judge another persons character depending on the astrology sign. I am guilty in some cases but I do think they can me wrong.

Personally I am a Libra and I have had many the completely inaccurate horoscope. Then again I have had a scary accurate reading also. Each sign has said to have their own traits both good and bad. Some may match up perfectly to you but they also may be the complete opposite, but a lot of the time we have to admit it’s possible the signs traits can be true but we refuse to admit it.

Libras are said to be Diplomatic Graceful, Peaceful, Idealistic, Hospitable people but there also said to be Superficial, Vain, Indecisive and Unreliable people. Personally I agree with my Air sign as a Libra. I have a tendency to be all those things. All depending on the day and my mood.

Libras are said to be at their best when with people and work well with other people and are said to be good communicators and overall confident but to me that is really the opposite I find it awkward and uncomfortable a lot of the time with others and I personally like being alone. I do like being in other people’s company but I can be perfectly happy alone too.

They can be independent, they have the intelligence and the full capability within but would a Libra rather co-exist/depend on others which I find in my case true cause I can be lazy like my sign reminds me.

‘Libras love excitement, new situations, adventure and the unusual. They make friends with people from all walks of life and they are always up to something new and exciting with enthusiasm. Libras are great at getting along with people, everyone likes a Libra’. I agree that Myself as a libra wants these things and wants adventure but despite wanting it, it isn’t necessarily accurate, I often am stopped by anxiety when it comes to adventure and talking and getting along with new people. I am different and yet I get along with people I also have different opinions and like a lot of different things to others. Not everyone would like me as a Libra. (Oh and I do love unusual stuffs.)

Libras are not always the confident social butterflies they are said to be. Libras are said to be the glue that holds friendships and groups together but not necessarily because my opinions tend to differ a lot and that doesn’t always turn out well in group situations.

Libras are said to open minded and it is said that nobody can meet another person’s point of view better than a libra which I agree with completely, despite having different views and opinions I am open minded and up for meeting everyone’s point of views.

Libras are said to be lazy when it comes to hands on stuff and I do agree when it comes to a lot of sports and physical exercise but I do not agree when it comes to business and creative projects. I love to do hands on creative stuff , even though I may not be the best at art.

Libras are said to best at idea making and creativity but not necessarily carrying out the work and struggles of it. We are said to not be able to do work even if we set our minds to it but I can and have been able to do so.

Libras are said to be very self centered which I must agree to slightly but I do definitely care for others…a lot…sometimes I fell maybe a bit too much. I think everyone should be respected and treated fair and I would fight for anyone not just myself which people tend to think Libras wouldn’t do.

We are said to not want anything bad enough to fight for it, but we will and can and there is a lot of things I personally would fight for, for everyone, not just myself.

They are also likely to hide or bend their own true feelings in order to bring peace with a group and to make others like them. Sometime this results in them not really knowing what their true feelings are because they are trying to make everyone happy. Other people can see this and Libras have earned themselves a reputation for being indecisive, they simply do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings or cause disorder or friction in a situation, which I agree with. This spills over inside the person and many times, Libras have difficulty making decisions.

Inside, the Libra is very insecure, they suffer from a lack of self confidence, they are always searching for something to complete them. This is said to be why they are social butterflies as they are said to be trying to find their missing piece through others but I disagree that personally makes me the opposite of a social butterfly.  

Libras don’t really know who they are inside. Libras are said to desperately need love and approval which I agree, they will do the favors that people ask and and have a hard time saying ‘no’ or ‘I’m too busy’ in order to prove how nice they are, this gradually builds up resentment and negative self esteem issues inside. Which I agree with in a way.

Libra’s indecisiveness is said to be caused by fear, their fear that a wrong decision will make everything come crashing down around them and cause turmoil in their lives which I also agree with this a lot…I personally fear the future and the unexspected.

Life is not like that and it is said that once a Libra acknowledges the fact that life has ups and downs they will be less emotionally wound up, not so hard on themselves and as a result, they will be a much happier person. I agree with this also. I think this applies to anyone though no matter their sign.

What’s your sign?
Is it accurate for you?