Dear Anxiety.

 

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Anxiety your such a pest, Constantly lingering inside.
Even though I know in the end everything will be fine
You’re a bubble of worry and doubt , trapped in my mind.
You make me think everything wont turn out fine.
Even left alone with my thoughts you still arise.
It’s scary the control you have over me.
All the things I just can’t do, because of you.
I can’t go to the shop and pay for my food, or answer the door in fear of you.
You stop me from having fun and going places with my friends, because
the stupid pain you cause me never seems to end.
It’s silly, I know.
I want to be a explorer and travel the world.
But how’s that going to happen when I’m scared trapped in my own little world.

Here’s a random poem that isn’t great. I wrote it awhile ago in school for an inspireland class thing. I needed to post something and I am way to lazy to do something new today so here this is 🙂

Happiness. :D

925065_687644324653899_1718721959_nOkay so this a tag I was nominated to do a very long time ago by the lovely Emily , thank you so much!:D

I’m going to do the tag and also going to just share a random rambling about my thoughts and questions related to happiness.:)

Rules: 😀

  • List 5 things that make you happy
  • List 5 songs that make you happy
  • Nominate 5 people to do this tag
  • If possible please smile while doing the tag too 🙂 🙂 🙂

What makes me Happy: 😀

  1. When somebody actually puts in effort to talk to you. They keep going with questions and keep trying to keep the conversation going. They use emojis and always reply with lengthy enough messages and not just the plain old boring types.
  2. Taking photos. Of anything that makes me feel good or that I enjoy looking at whether it be a sunset,sunrise,friend,food,animal…absolutely anything really.
  3. Being able to do something new (Travelling somewhere new,talking to someone new etc. ) Without having anxiety.
  4. Putting on clothes or wrapping a towel around you that’s straight from the dryer.
  5. The people I can trust and the people who trust me in return. ❤
  6. Books, Coffee, Tea, Fluffy socks, New clothes, TV shows, Youtube , Music and soooo much more.

I have a lot of things to be happy about. Sure some things may not make me feel happy all the time or give a me a instant feeling of happiness but knowing these things big and small once did make me feel good, is a lovely feeling to have.

Also I think I listed way more than five things…what can I say. :’) I can be quite the rebel.

Five songs that me happy:  😀

  1. Heartbeating city by Wallis Bird.
  2. The Bare Necessities from the Jungle book (Yes I am a child)
  3. Smile Avril Lavigne.
  4. Brave Sara Barielles.
  5. Gold Star for me by Dodie and Carrie.

There is many more but these where the first I spotted on Spotify and Youtube. ❤

I did smile while doing this tag. So yay for Sunday smiles despite going back to icky school tomorrow.

Nominations: 

YOU! …If your reading this post. Make a post yourself or write down or just take a moment to realise the little things that make you feel that bit happier. ❤ 🙂

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The photos attached to this post are both mine. They were both photos I took and just make me feel happier. The first I took one day while standing in the rain with two of my friends. We were getting soaked but oddly enough I didn’t mind. I just snapped this photo of the main street of town and I just love it. Not sure why. I know it’s nothing spectacular I just like it. 🙂

The second photo is a photo I took when I was on holidays with my family in Mallorca, Spain. We were on a boat trip to a little island and this was the first thing I seen when we passed the island. I took the photo standing next to my mam, while we just watched the waves crashing under the side of the boat as we dropped anchor at the island. I don’t know why again but It just makes me feel happy.

Happiness sadly isn’t a permanent emotion. It comes and goes. That’s not a bad thing if all we felt was happy where would we learn anything?.

While reading this post I hope you take the time to remember and look back on things that make you feel happy. Look at old photos, let the memory’s come back. 😀

Do you think it’s possible to find complete happiness???

🙂 🙂 🙂

 

 

 

 

Irish Education System and Future worries.

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Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Today I received a letter home from school full of forms that I have to fill out for my subject choices next year (5th year)  and I instantly felt a wave of worry.

I have no clue what to pick!.

School makes us worry so much. There is so much I dislike and both love about school. Today just isn’t a day where I love school.

I’m 15. I still don’t know what I want to be when I’m older. I don’t know what I want to study in college. I’m not even sure if I want to go to college but I guess I have to.

I have to choose my subjects for the senior cycle. The Leaving Cert. Once I have  chosen I pretty much can’t change them and their going to do a whole lot of controlling an shaping in my life….Which sucks.

If I could do anything in life without having to worry about money, anxiety and stability I would just get up each day and travel to somewhere new. Sadly that’s seriously impossible and unrealistic.

We need money to travel.. in order to get money we have to work…In order to work we have to go study something and get a stupid degree or something to get a decent job with decent pay, that will leave us working ridiculous hours, which will also exhaust us and leave us wanting to do nothing but sleep in my free time.

The education system annoys me. Like I do respect that it is sort of way to inspire people to actually work and study and not just waste away their life by doing nothing educational or intellectually stimulating, but it causes so much stress, anxiety and problems for everyone which is unnecessary worries.

People have enough things to worry about and the education system just sort of adds to it.

In Ireland once you finish Primary school your off into Secondary school. Secondary school said to be the ‘best’ and most ‘important’ years of your life. Both possibly true but whos to say that goes for everyone. Not everyone’s going to have the best time of their life in secondary school. Some could grow to hate it after adoring it for years and others who once hated and prayed they would get out of it soon would find themselves missing it.

During secondary school you have so many worries. From fitting in, passing classes, balancing homework with social activities and so much more. We have to balance and do so many stressful things for 5-6 years of our life. On top of that In Ireland we have to pay for it! We have to pay to be educated. We have to pay for uniforms and books and that causes stress on our parents/guardians/providers.

First year you mainly get used to the big change in environment and how things work. You get used to going from class to class to different teachers for different subjects. You test diffrent options to see which you enjoy more. Second year your more settled in (I hope) and you have picked your subjects your going to study for the Junior Certificate. During these years you have class tests which make you worry a lot at the time but in the end the hardly mean a thing. You have Christmas, Halloween and Easter tests and these are the ‘BIG TESTS’ of first and second year. They go home for parent teacher meeting and report cards. These make you stress like a zillion times more than those class tests…when in reality they mean absolutely nothing in life.

Third year comes around and you have the REAL BIG TEST. The one that will be on your CV the one that future colleges and employers may look at. You spend all year worrying and studying worse than before because you need to do well. YOU HAVE TO DO WELL. (do you really though?) then mocks roll around and these are just a practice run. You get your results and hey look you did well. Or you did crap. Then the real thing comes around. You sit in the examination hall/room. With not your teachers walking around this time. Real state examiners. You do your test and sometimes its similar to the mocks. But others it’s not. It is way more difficult and it makes you worry. You did better …or not as well as you did in the mocks..but hey it’s done the ‘REAL BIG REST’.  In the end all it is a couple of grades for your CV and a lot of unnecessary anxiety you had ….because what matters more than this big test…is yet another frigging ‘BIG TEST’….the leaving certificate!.

Then comes the senior cycle. The end of third year you make the decision what your going to do next 5th year, Transition Year or LCA. You may do 4th year also known as Transition year. Which is not for everyone but for me is/was great fun. You build a CV, do work experience, try new subjects, go on trips, have guest speakers and so much more. It’s a year of fun and work both at the same time. But not all do this you can go straight into 5th year, one of the two most ‘important’ years of your life. You have chosen your subjects that you will study in the Leaving Certificate …the ones that will pretty much forever stick by you and could possibly haunt you. You study your mandatory  and chosen subjects, usually about 7 in total, for two years.

During these two ‘important’ years. You work hard and study. You have class tests and Christmas, Easter and Halloween tests once again just like before that make you worry and stress you out yet again unnecessarily for 5th year. Then 6th year you have your class tests and mocks again. Then the ‘SERIOUSLY REAL BIG TEST’ your Leaving certificate. Pretty much the Junior Cert all over again just way harder and with two years more knowledge of the subjects you did for the JC. Or a lot of knew knowledge on new chosen subjects. This is probably the most anxious and worried and stressed and horrible you felt out of of all the tests you done so far. This is real. This is scary. This is what colleges actually ‘give a crap about’ this is what gets you ‘anywhere in life’.

Judging by whatever you got in the Leaving Cert and the amount of points you managed to get yourself. This then controls if you can or cannot get into a college or university. The amount of points you got controls whether or not you get into a course that you need to do whatever the hell you want to do in life. Worst of all if you don’t get the points needed you may have to go through the LC again.

Also there’s also the chance you could pick subjects you once were good at and enjoyed but now hate. Now that you have them chosen your stuck with them and have to to them for the LC. Then have to go to college after and do a course based on them subjects…that you might not enjoy and might end you up in a crappy job you hate.

I personally think it is silly how we get judged on just the amount of points and grades we get. Points and letters should not have to define us. It shouldn’t need to control what we do in life or how we get there. Maybe you only got so little points because you were so stressed that day of exams and couldn’t focus.

 

In the end I think the Education systems pretty stupid.

It causes so much problems and stress for everyone.

ahhh …yeah that was my little rant about the eduction system.

Sorry bout it.

I’m just stressing over having to pick my Leaving Cert subjects.

 

 

The Book Fangirling Blog Award.

First off thank you for Yuki for the nomination! 😀

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The Rules:

* Create a post to accept your award.
* Add the blog award button into your post.
* Link to whomever nominated you in the post so others know who has given you the award.
* Answer the questions I have set below
* Nominate between 5-10 book bloggers who you think deserve this award
* Come up with your own 5 questions for your nominees
* Link your nominees to this post so that they know the rules

Questions:

What’s your favourite book genre? 

Hmmm, I like fantasy, supernatural , adventure type of genre a lot!

Do you support any ‘unusual’ ships?

Umm, In TV shows and Movies more so but in books not really.

What do you do when someone agrees with your opinion on a book?

Fangirl and bow down to them because the have great taste.

How many times have you felt like throwing your books across the room?

Countless times for many reasons.

What characters/books would you like to see do a crossover?

Username Evie by Joe sugg and Girl online by Zoe Sugg.

 

My Nominees : 

My questions:

What is you favourite book of all time?

What was the last book you read and what did you think of it?

Do you like audio books?

Post a photo of describe your book situation at home?

Least favourite book?

 

I really need to get back to blogging and stop procrastinating.

I only ever seem to do awards and stuff now.

I want to post more stuff other than that I’m just so lazy and uninspired.

 

 

 

 

 

The Music Tag <3

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I was nominated by dziey , a wonderful blogger to do this tag so thank you so much for the nomination. 🙂

Rules : Write ten songs that come on shuffle (no skipping).
Write your favorite lyrics from each one of them.
Tag people.

I am going to have to mix it up a tiny bit because the only music on my phone right now is Kpop and I have a odd app to get music so there isn’t shuffle….so I’m going to close my eyes and scroll through my youtube likes …which is music I like. Then pick the first ten I stop on? 😀

Here goes the 10 songs…

  1. Deeply Dippy by right said fred:  Deeply dippy I’m your superman,I’ll explain
    You’re my Lois Lane.
  2. Come Together by John Lennon: He say, “I know you, you know me.”
    One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
  3. You haven’t seen the last of me by Cher: You don’t know me. You don’t know who I am,Don’t count me out so fast.
  4. Gold star for me by Dodie Clark and Carrie Hope Fletcher: I’m a semi functioning human, but I’ve done pretty well so far,sure I slept in till like three,but I made a great cup of tea so that’s one gold star for me! ❤
  5. Wings D-lite: (This song is in Korean so I’m just going to pick my fav lyric from English translation) I’ll become your wings .I believe you, I believe you. Believe in me, believe in me. Because everything will pass.
  6. You could have it by Miss Li: No, please don’t go, But if you leave I’ll understand cause I’m not easy yes I know.
  7. Heres to us by Halestorm: If they give you hell, Tell em to go fuck themselves
  8. By my side by David Choi: No one else would ever do, I’ve got a stubborn heart for you, Call me crazy but it’s true. I love you.
  9. Headstrong nightcore: Circling your, circling your, circling your head,
    Contemplating everything you ever said.
  10. For Baltimore Patty walters Cover: I don’t wanna say goodnight, I’ve never been so sure, Just do it for the memories.

I tag 🙂

I have unusual and mixed taste in music:’)

Check out the songs aha.

Any song reconsiderations?

And the photo is of my uke…which still can not play:’)

 

 

The Blogger Recognition Award.

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So I was nominated to this award about a month ago by the lovely blogger Grace 🙂 Thank you so much for the nomination sorry it took so long to do this aha:’) Everyone reading this go check her blog out…like seriously,It’s frigging amazing!.

The Rules

-Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
-Write a post to show your award. Attach the logo to your post.
-Give a brief story of how your blog started.
-Give a piece of advice to new bloggers.
-Select 10 other blogs to give the award to.

Why my blog started 🙂 

Well I was going to do a post solely dedicated to this but I may aswell do it now as opportunity shows. I started this blog not to long ago for a couple of reasons.

  1. I am quite opinionated and I wanted somewhere I could share my opinions and hear others opinions in return about topics and about my opinion also.
  2. I wanted to learn more about others so by making a blog I figured I would find some other bloggers along the way and I could learn about them and many other things too.
  3. I wanted to improve my writing skills.
  4. I wanted to create something and share it publicly instead of just writing for myself.
  5. I possibly want it to be a stepping stone toward me becoming more independent and maybe becoming a professional blogger or journalist when I am older.
  6. I wanted a distraction. I wanted something to do when I wasn’t feeling the best or when I am bored.
  7. I love writing.
  8. I wanted to share advice and what I learn throughout my life with others.
  9. I was inspired by youtubers who created vlogs and some had blogs. I don’t have the courage to post vlogs so I made a blog.
  10. I want to make new friends from all over the world …I want to learn.

Advice for new bloggers 🙂

  • Be yourself. Post what you want and what makes you happy.
  • Listen to others advice but follow your heart and gut feeling.
  • Talk to other bloggers and read and comment on their blogs.
  • Learn from every blog you read.
  • Express yourself. Be creative and don’t give up writing just cause you lack inspiration keep trying.
  • Remember to tag your blog posts and maybe categorize them so other people can find them.
  • Share you posts on social media. Link your blog to social media.
  • Have fun and share your opinions. Everyone has a right to share their opinion.

Nominations 😀

I nominate everyone reading this! 🙂

(Pshh so not because I am to lazy to tag and nominate people.)

 

Hope you enjoyed this post and liked the advice.

Be happy and Stay creative.

Also if your new to blogging comment below and I will try check out your blog. 🙂

 

 

XxX Straight Edge XxX

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Hey….Back again! 🙂 It sure has been a minute.

I really need to get back into the swing of blogging again. I miss having the time to read every single blog on my feed but I just don’t have the time lately. I am trying to catchup and read again but WOW am I following aload of amazing bloggers! There are so many of you’s who post daily posts that are so spectacular. How do you guys do it?.

Not really sure why but today I’m going to do a post about Straight Edge. Cause why not 🙂

Wikipedia says Straight edge is a subculture of hardcore punk whose adherents refrain from using alcohol, tobacco and other recreational drugs and for some this extends to refraining from engaging in promiscuous sex, following a vegetarian or vegan diet, and/or not using caffeine or prescription drugs.

I have labelled myself as a member of the Straight Edge community for awhile now. (Since about 11 or 12) I think now is about time I am going to stop referring to my self as Straight Edge.  It’s not that I now drink and do drugs and all. I just don’t think I need to have a label for what I don’t want to do any more.

I don’t think Straight Edge was a term suited well for me. I do enjoy the music that Inspired the term but I am not a massive fan so I don’t think I need to be labelled as Straight edge and I don’t think I  need to say I am part of the community of those who are Straight edge.

Back then I felt I needed to have that label. I used it as explanation and excuse I guess for a reason to why I don’t drink,smoke etc when people asked ( Which was silly of me). At that time many others my age had just started to drink and all and everyone always asked why I didn’t. I simply didn’t want to so after watching Pattys Walters ”Why I’m Straight Edge” video I decided that was how I would tell people and I began to refer to myself as being Edge, using it as an unnecessary explanation.

I should of just said I simply didn’t want to. I didn’t need to label myself and find a bigger reason than necessary. I can do what I like. I like NOT drinking alcohol and NOT smoking. I like NOT using recreational drugs. I don’t need a term or label to NOT do these things. I don’t have to do these things If I don’t want to and that’s perfectly okay.

I think Straight Edge is wonderful and I have so much respect for those who follow the lifestyle.

I think its a wonderful subculture and if you ever have the time you should look into it and it’s history.

I am not Straight Edge. I no longer label myself as Straight Edge.

I simply just don’t want to drink,smoke etc. I hope to not drink, smoke etc for my entire life and I plan to keep doing so.

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Here is a cringe worthy photo of when I decided to show my definite choice for being edge using the signature X on the hand. What a throwback aghh. :’)

This was quite a rambling post. Not sure why I started it but glad I did because I feel that bit more comfortable.

You don’t need a label,subculture,term or anything like that to explain why you do something or don’t do something.

You can just do or don’t do it.

How have you all been?. 🙂