Reverie and then a sudden change of light.

It’s quite an unusual feeling when your sitting blissfully in a state of reverie and suddenly something just changes.

Reverie is transient and so bittersweet.

I keep noticing far to much lately the irksome moments that pull me from my state of reverie. I will be sitting in class, just mindlessly learning and then a change of light happens.

The mood will change. The room will feel darker and less idyllic. Just because of a sudden change in light.

Just because the blinds have moved slightly because of the wind, or a clouds covered the sun.

Nobody says anything or acts differently.

The light has just change and the calming moods just gone.

Everything feels wrong and disorderly.

The light from outside will cast shadows on someones face or a surface differently. It makes me feel uncomfortable because I felt so relaxed previously.

I’m deceived into thinking its a change in person or moment. It isn’t …it’s just how the light has changed.

I am left wondering and anticipating if the moment will change. Does anyone else notice the change of mood. Will it effect others as much as it is effecting me?

Will anything happen differently than it would of happened seconds before the light changed?

 

Has anyone ever felt anything like this?

It’s weird to think something as small as a change in light can effect my brain so much. 😀  ❤

I honestly have no idea what this is. A thought?  A rambling feeling?  A story?

I don’t know but I wrote something because what else have I to do right now.

 

 

 

Conflicted Contradiction.

 

I haven’t blogged in quite awhile. Everything just seems to be going on around me. Everything is just happening so fast. It’s like nothing at all is happening but so much at the same time. It’s like I’m overwhelmed with emotions and things to get done but yet I still find the time to say that I’m bored.

Yeah, I know I just contradicted myself a lot. But ..hey! That’s me a your walking,talking (well writing)  Conflicted Contradiction.

Life sure is weird.

Life itself seems to be passing by way to fast. Like since I began secondary school it always seemed to go by much faster. This year especially. Like so far this year 2015/2016 I have started Transition Year in school. It has been so much fun. I got to go on trips, listen to talks and try new things. I also got to do a lot of fun stuff out of school and spend a lot of the time alone, with friends and family. It’s been pretty great (sure there is pretty damn crappy parts in the midst of it all but there has been a ton of great things). But….It all seems to be going by so fast.

Life changes just as the sky does. Some days the sky feels like it takes years to switch from light to dark. It feels like the day drags by as the sky slowly transforms and shifts from the vibrant orange and yellow skies at dawn to the bright orange,blue,pink and purple shades at dusk. Other times it dashes by in what feels like a blink of an eye. The moments you want to sit down and just take in the day never seem to last as long as you wish.

‘Time flys when your having fun’ couldn’t be more accurate than it is now. I wish this year would slow down and let me enjoy it for longer. (I want the good parts slow down and the bad parts to speed up…well doesn’t everyone really.)

Currently I am 15 years old. I still often say to people I am only 14 because it feels it was just yesterday I was 14 (I still feel like a 10 year old sometimes). It scares me ever so slightly that I’m almost 16. Like I wonder will I still say that I’m 14 when I’m actually 16?. I want to hurry up and grow up and move out,work,travel and do things for myself. I want to be more independent and have more stability and control within/ for myself. Then again I want to stay young and not have to worry about doing things for myself.

I am yet again unsure to why I posted this. I just thought I would since I havn’t posted in a couple of days.

Anybody else feel like this? 🙂

Sorry about the ramblings x