Conflicted Contradiction.



I haven’t blogged in quite awhile. Everything just seems to be going on around me. Everything is just happening so fast. It’s like nothing at all is happening but so much at the same time. It’s like I’m overwhelmed with emotions and things to get done but yet I still find the time to say that I’m bored.

Yeah, I know I just contradicted myself a lot. But ..hey! That’s me a your walking,talking (well writing) Β Conflicted Contradiction.

Life sure is weird.

Life itself seems to be passing by way to fast. Like since I began secondary school it always seemed to go by much faster. This year especially. Like so far this year 2015/2016 I have started Transition Year in school. It has been so much fun. I got to go on trips, listen to talks and try new things. I also got to do a lot of fun stuff out of school and spend a lot of the time alone, with friends and family. It’s been pretty great (sure there is pretty damn crappy parts in the midst of it all but there has been a ton of great things). But….It all seems to be going by so fast.

Life changes just as the sky does. Some days the sky feels like it takes years to switch from light to dark. It feels like the day drags by as the sky slowly transforms and shifts from the vibrant orangeΒ and yellow skies at dawn to the bright orange,blue,pink and purple shades at dusk. Other times it dashes by in what feels like a blink of an eye. The moments you want to sit down and just take in the day never seem to last as long as you wish.

‘Time flys when your having fun’ couldn’t be more accurate than it is now. I wish this year would slow down and let me enjoy it for longer. (I want the good parts slow down and the bad parts to speed up…well doesn’t everyone really.)

Currently I am 15 years old. I still often say to people I am only 14 because it feels it was just yesterday I was 14 (I still feel like a 10 year old sometimes). It scares me ever so slightly that I’m almost 16. Like I wonder will I still say that I’m 14 when I’m actually 16?. I want to hurry up and grow up and move out,work,travel and do things for myself. I want to be more independent and have more stability and control within/ for myself. Then again I want to stay young and not have to worry about doing things for myself.

I am yet again unsure to why I posted this. I just thought I would since I havn’t posted in a couple of days.

Anybody else feel like this? πŸ™‚

Sorry about the ramblings x




35 thoughts on “Conflicted Contradiction.

      1. It’s one of my worst habits – I don’t keep my options open. I tend to get obsessed with something and then I can’t focus on anything else

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  1. You should really try to focus on enjoying a moment, no matter how briefly it lasts. And you should even try to live in the bad moments. Of course this might sound quite nonsensical because we all want bad moments to pass. But still, you might learn a lot in one bad moment. Don’t look to far ahead and too far back. Cherish the here and now and you’ll have some beautiful memories to look back to and something more to experience along the way. Don’t worry about getting older, as each age has something special to it. Sometimes it just takes a bit to find it. Oh, and don’t apologize for rambling. If that’s how you feel, then so be it πŸ˜‰

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  2. Funnily enough, I haven’t ONCE written 2015 in any of my books this year which is very unusual because I ALWAYS write the previous year for the first couple of weeks…basically I’m very aware of time at the moment but unlike you, I want it to go faster as I’m going through some slightly rough times at the moment with my ‘friends’… But there’s no doubt that time is going by faster when all the good and amazing things happen!

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    1. Oh wow , well thats sorta a good thing I guess… sorry to hear that your going through rough times , hopefully everything resolves soon and quickly, wishing the best for you.:) Yeah its so irritating, wish time was pauseable, rewindable etc.

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  3. The first day back at school of 2016 I accidentally wrote 2013 on my page. Also, sometimes when people ask me how old I am I get tempted to say 15 even though I’m 17 lol. So yeah I completely understand how you feel. It’s unbelievable how fast time flies.

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