I’m not trying to make blogging difficult…or am I?

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I have yet again abandoned the blogging world. Oops!

I have so many excuses. You do want to hear them don’t you?. Of course you don’t but I’m going to say them anyways. 🙂

My biggest excuse I have for not writing or blogging at all is time. I seem to never have any time when I am actual motivated to write about something. It’s as if the world is trying to give me a hint …well more than a hint, more a massive push to tell me to not bother writing. I am always either to busy to write because I’m to busy freaking out about school and all the other typical teenager problems like what on earth will I do now that my concealers run out! I can’t possibly do anything with my terrible skin. So I then waste even more time complaining about tiny non-important problems and feeling sorry for myself. (Yes I am quite the extraordinary drama queen.)

My laptop also seems to hate me. It’s  as if from the day I bought it. The laptop itself has decided to have its own vendetta against me because it must of heard story’s about my past laptops and their tragic ends. (I dropped one down the stairs…oops!) . My nickname is clumsy Kate for a reason. My laptop just never wants to turn on or function like it should. It is constantly in battle against me and freezes, shuts down, over heats (even though it’s been on five minutes) every time I need to use it for blogging or mainly school work. I know I can blog from app or tablet etc.but it just isn’t the same. I love blogging on a laptop. I seem to write more and get less frustrated using a laptop. MY LAPTOP JUST SHUT DOWN….right now, as I’m writing this. I guess It truly does hold a grudge against me.

I also have decided to not blog because I feel extremely guilty 😦 that I haven’t had the time or effort to read other peoples blogs. I adore so many bloggers on here and their posts but I just have lost the feeling that made me read blogs. It’s like writers block but backward. I have readers block?. I still love when I do read blogs. I still laugh and cry and get spun out in a deep web of thought when I read blogs but it has become so rare because of myself. I want to blog more when I read more. After all, the main reason I wanted to blog is to get to know other people who love to write too. So I think once my motivation to read blogs comes back I will possibly write more too. I am sorry I have abandoned the blogs I used to comment and read daily!.

As I have just said I have readers block…..I also have writers block. I just have no inspiration or motivation to write anything. I don’t even diary anymore. I can’t be bothered to explain in detail and when I do it is nowhere near creative and I hate reading it myself. I just lost my longing to want to blog. Well….It is still their but I just don’t enjoy anything I write anymore. Even looking back at old posts and stuff I have written  it just makes cringe. I get angry at myself far to easily because I do know I’m not a amazing write. I don’t write well. I don’t write aesthetically. I don’t compel a reader to keep reading…but I still want to write. I just want to write better but I just don’t have that natural nack for it.

But hey! The biggest thing I notice about all my excuses is they are my own fault. It’s like I try to make life difficult for myself then complain about it. I do it so naturally it’s weird. I am aware I do it but I know their is other influences that are effecting the problems so I still blame it on those…. but I blame it on me too :’)

To fix my problems above I can what?….Manage my time better and write even when unmotivated. Write on the app? Skip my T.V time and read blogs? Write more until I get better at writing?…….I know I can do these things but I don’t. So does this mean I don’t want to or do I just want to self sabotage?.

I really am I hypocritical, conflicted contradiction.

Is anyone else like this?

Comment below if you do see this so I know some people are still out their…and maybe I might actually stop being a silly bean and start reading more peoples blogs. 😀

Also can anyone recommend good blogs? Teen bloggers? Story time blogs? 😀

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “I’m not trying to make blogging difficult…or am I?

  1. hello, it’s nice to hear from you again!

    you’re not the only one caught in this trap. often we all find ourselves in a similar situation to you. currently i’ve been finding it hard to pick up a pencil and draw or even read a book and these are hobbies I love and have so much passion for but I feel guilty when spending time on it when I’m so worried about school. it’s okay to neglect hobbies as long as the passion is still burning inside you, once things are more settled you will begin finding time for it. sometimes when you’re upset it’s nice to try and reconnect to a hobby.

    hope this is somewhat reassuring x
    have a great week beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi!
      It is so reassuring to know I am not the only one feeling this way!:) Thanks for replying! You pretty much summed up my feelings too! :’)
      I’m going to keep trying to reconnect to things I enjoy doing. thank you so much!
      You too ❤ Hope you can reconnect to them soon! thanks lovely!

      Liked by 1 person

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