Decisions, decisions, decisions.
Today I received a letter home from school full of forms that I have to fill out for my subject choices next year (5th year) and I instantly felt a wave of worry.
I have no clue what to pick!.
School makes us worry so much. There is so much I dislike and both love about school. Today just isn’t a day where I love school.
I’m 15. I still don’t know what I want to be when I’m older. I don’t know what I want to study in college. I’m not even sure if I want to go to college but I guess I have to.
I have to choose my subjects for the senior cycle. The Leaving Cert. Once I have chosen I pretty much can’t change them and their going to do a whole lot of controlling an shaping in my life….Which sucks.
If I could do anything in life without having to worry about money, anxiety and stability I would just get up each day and travel to somewhere new. Sadly that’s seriously impossible and unrealistic.
We need money to travel.. in order to get money we have to work…In order to work we have to go study something and get a stupid degree or something to get a decent job with decent pay, that will leave us working ridiculous hours, which will also exhaust us and leave us wanting to do nothing but sleep in my free time.
The education system annoys me. Like I do respect that it is sort of way to inspire people to actually work and study and not just waste away their life by doing nothing educational or intellectually stimulating, but it causes so much stress, anxiety and problems for everyone which is unnecessary worries.
People have enough things to worry about and the education system just sort of adds to it.
In Ireland once you finish Primary school your off into Secondary school. Secondary school said to be the ‘best’ and most ‘important’ years of your life. Both possibly true but whos to say that goes for everyone. Not everyone’s going to have the best time of their life in secondary school. Some could grow to hate it after adoring it for years and others who once hated and prayed they would get out of it soon would find themselves missing it.
During secondary school you have so many worries. From fitting in, passing classes, balancing homework with social activities and so much more. We have to balance and do so many stressful things for 5-6 years of our life. On top of that In Ireland we have to pay for it! We have to pay to be educated. We have to pay for uniforms and books and that causes stress on our parents/guardians/providers.
First year you mainly get used to the big change in environment and how things work. You get used to going from class to class to different teachers for different subjects. You test diffrent options to see which you enjoy more. Second year your more settled in (I hope) and you have picked your subjects your going to study for the Junior Certificate. During these years you have class tests which make you worry a lot at the time but in the end the hardly mean a thing. You have Christmas, Halloween and Easter tests and these are the ‘BIG TESTS’ of first and second year. They go home for parent teacher meeting and report cards. These make you stress like a zillion times more than those class tests…when in reality they mean absolutely nothing in life.
Third year comes around and you have the REAL BIG TEST. The one that will be on your CV the one that future colleges and employers may look at. You spend all year worrying and studying worse than before because you need to do well. YOU HAVE TO DO WELL. (do you really though?) then mocks roll around and these are just a practice run. You get your results and hey look you did well. Or you did crap. Then the real thing comes around. You sit in the examination hall/room. With not your teachers walking around this time. Real state examiners. You do your test and sometimes its similar to the mocks. But others it’s not. It is way more difficult and it makes you worry. You did better …or not as well as you did in the mocks..but hey it’s done the ‘REAL BIG REST’. In the end all it is a couple of grades for your CV and a lot of unnecessary anxiety you had ….because what matters more than this big test…is yet another frigging ‘BIG TEST’….the leaving certificate!.
Then comes the senior cycle. The end of third year you make the decision what your going to do next 5th year, Transition Year or LCA. You may do 4th year also known as Transition year. Which is not for everyone but for me is/was great fun. You build a CV, do work experience, try new subjects, go on trips, have guest speakers and so much more. It’s a year of fun and work both at the same time. But not all do this you can go straight into 5th year, one of the two most ‘important’ years of your life. You have chosen your subjects that you will study in the Leaving Certificate …the ones that will pretty much forever stick by you and could possibly haunt you. You study your mandatory and chosen subjects, usually about 7 in total, for two years.
During these two ‘important’ years. You work hard and study. You have class tests and Christmas, Easter and Halloween tests once again just like before that make you worry and stress you out yet again unnecessarily for 5th year. Then 6th year you have your class tests and mocks again. Then the ‘SERIOUSLY REAL BIG TEST’ your Leaving certificate. Pretty much the Junior Cert all over again just way harder and with two years more knowledge of the subjects you did for the JC. Or a lot of knew knowledge on new chosen subjects. This is probably the most anxious and worried and stressed and horrible you felt out of of all the tests you done so far. This is real. This is scary. This is what colleges actually ‘give a crap about’ this is what gets you ‘anywhere in life’.
Judging by whatever you got in the Leaving Cert and the amount of points you managed to get yourself. This then controls if you can or cannot get into a college or university. The amount of points you got controls whether or not you get into a course that you need to do whatever the hell you want to do in life. Worst of all if you don’t get the points needed you may have to go through the LC again.
Also there’s also the chance you could pick subjects you once were good at and enjoyed but now hate. Now that you have them chosen your stuck with them and have to to them for the LC. Then have to go to college after and do a course based on them subjects…that you might not enjoy and might end you up in a crappy job you hate.
I personally think it is silly how we get judged on just the amount of points and grades we get. Points and letters should not have to define us. It shouldn’t need to control what we do in life or how we get there. Maybe you only got so little points because you were so stressed that day of exams and couldn’t focus.
In the end I think the Education systems pretty stupid.
It causes so much problems and stress for everyone.
ahhh …yeah that was my little rant about the eduction system.
Sorry bout it.
I’m just stressing over having to pick my Leaving Cert subjects.